If at first (or second and third) you don't succeed... try, try again!

Hello world,

I am sad to say that this girl just can not stay on the upside of fat.  I mean I try and do great and then fall back into bad habits and then I am back where I started.  I am so tired of this endless race I run in life.  I am not sure what it will take for me to finally make my vision a reality.  I was doing well on the HcG diet.  I lost about 20 pounds.  Then I went to Atlanta for a few days to visit and put about 10 of those pounds back on.  I was fooling myself by skipping steps of that diet and I am still regretting it.  I am, however, looking forward to doing it again and hopefully getting lasting results.  since I last jumped on here things have changed quite a bit.  I got a beautiful little puppy named Oreo (he's amazingly and deliciously cute as a button)!!  I moved to a one bedroom apartment with a more functional kitchen that I plan on cooking in... SCORE!!  But I have been steeped in stress and full of shoulda coulda wouldas.  I need to go on a cleanse so that I can reset my body and begin to clear out the yucky stuff.  BTW, did I tell you all that I am visiting Maryland for the first time in almost two years.  I was hoping to be a knockout by the time I got there but I am so sure that will not happen for me.  I am, however, still looking forward to looking as fantastic as I possibly can.

Lately, I have been trying to focus on what I am certain is holding me back and that is self-worth... or lack thereof.  I have put my desires of being an upgrade of my current self to the side for much too long. I want to so many wonderful things to happen but I find it hard to push through and continue to fight for my dream when it comes to body images.  I thought about plastic surgery and was still told that I should lose 20 pounds to start!!  So, here I am, baring my soul to the world once again and hoping that I can finally pull all my inner strength together to do what is right for me.

THough I am not sure what exactly I will do to get to my goal... I have to do something because it is imperative to my health.  So here we go again....